College Football Preview: Mary Jo Perino on 'If I were UK's coach'

August 16, 2004|MARY JO PERINO

It's hard to know where the time goes. I feel like I'm old school now. Two starting quarterbacks. Two head coaches. That sounds about right. After all, it's been two years of Kentucky football.

Despite any turmoil, hardship or record, I find myself chomping at the bit to get to the start of the season.

This year I've decided to do something a bit different. I know it's a shot in the dark, but the way things work out at UK, some day I might just be the head football coach. If that fate were to somehow happen this year, I am already prepared.

Here are the top 10 things I would do if I were the head football coach at UK:

10. Make sure Shane Boyd still has time to practice his fastball. ... I want my Minnesota Twins to get the best pitcher they can get.


9. In television, you learn to "know your audience." Based on that, I would make sure Andrew Hopewell, Taylor Begley and Jacob Tamme get all the playing time they want.

8. Along those same lines, I would make Title Town a big-time recruiting priority. Names like Kelvin Turner and Brandon Smith would be on my list.

7. I would throw the ball down the field at least five times a game.

6. I would hire a few assistant coaches who were both younger and single.

5. I would make sure everyone has a nickname, like Sweet Pea, and would only be referred to by that name.

4. Go to a bowl game.

3. Make Sam Harp and Chuck Smith my offensive and defensive coordinators.

2. Score more points than the opponents. I would devise a plan to do that ... and make sure it works.

1. Ban sportscaster Alan Cutler from all press conferences so they wouldn't last as long or be nearly as controversial.

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