The idea of not allowing any animal inside those cones once they're filled and tied shut is their main selling point. Being the simple-minded person I am, I believed the ads and bought two of them, filled them with big, black sunflower seeds, clamped the dome lid shut and tied it down. Well, sometime between my short brain lapses, those marauders had swung down the limb holding each cone, untied the lid, slid it back and - here it is, folks, their downfall - almost on the count of three, the two biggest-headed ones literally jammed their heads down into the cone and began devouring, from the very top seed down, as many big black sunflower seeds as they could stuff into their expanding mouths.
I watched in horror as their cheeks swelled and swelled as they shoved, one by one, those seeds in any empty cranny until they could neither take another one in, spit another one out or move their face nor head one inch in any direction. The hard truth was they were royally stuck, head straight down while the rest of their fat, stuffed bodies were sticking straight up and out the top of the cones. Their tails were doing a complete 180, and the gargled, frantic noises they emitted from inside the cone was of outer space origin. They looked like two giant feather dusters with metal handles.
Now, you know how soft-hearted I am, and before long I was feeling sorry for them. I felt a very strong calling to rescue the greedy little things, especially after their two big buddies came over and began dancing some voodoo dance around and around the tree while singing an eerie chorus over and over. I'll tell you, it really got to me - the seriousness of it all. I just couldn't stand the torture, so out I went to save the day.
All I had to do to disperse the two dancers was head for the tree. One look at me and they were dispersed! And their abrupt departure caught the attention of the two fuzzy, fat prisoners of greed just enough to stir their flight instinct to jerk sputteringly out from their tomb of big black sunflower seeds. With seeds hanging off the sides of cheeks and ears, they raised their heads, shook real hard, and as if to reclaim their rodent dignity, jumped to the ground and scampered away, right past me, as if nothing had happened.
And to not embarrass me further, I simply rescrewed the lids down tight and walked on back into the house on the hill.
The view from the hill is wondrous.
