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Candle lighting to honor children

December 06, 2007|Katheran Wasson

The death of a son or daughter of any age is the hardest thing a parent could face.

Each year on the second Sunday in December, the Compassionate Friends, a national nonprofit organization, holds its Worldwide Candle Lighting at 7 p.m., asking individuals to light a candle for one hour to honor and remember children who have died.

For the fourth year, residents of Winchester and neighboring counties will have their own candle lighting ceremony to attend.

"It's a long way to go (to Lexington) on a Sunday evening," said Elly Sutherland. "We just thought it would be really nice to have one in our own community for people here."

Sutherland, a Winchester resident, lost her 18-year-old daughter Rachel in a car accident in 2004. She started going to monthly support group meetings of Compassionate Friends in Lexington, and formed a friendship with Mary Camp, a Winchester resident whose son died from heart surgery complications one day after Rachel died.

"You're so shell-shocked, but you see that there are people who have survived (the death of a child) a few years later," Sutherland said. "At first you really feel like you might die too."

The women organized the Winchester candle lighting ceremony four years ago to give more people the chance to participate. Sutherland said that as time passes, there are fewer opportunities to remember children who have died.

"People don't forget it, but everyone (else) moves on with their lives," she said. "But you still have to live with it. You have to deal with it and remember and talk about it."

Sutherland emphasized that people can remember children of any age, even adult children, and all family and friends are invited to attend, not just parents.

Sunday's event will include a ceremony with poems and music, and each person will light a candle and can remember their loved one out loud. In previous years, between 40 and 60 people have attended the event, Sutherland said.

"I think that's the thing that is probably the most helpful," she said. "This is the season of Christmas and Hanukkah and Kwanzaa, and it's a difficult time of year."

Participants are also encouraged to bring photographs, and to share memories with others during a reception after the ceremony. Those who cannot attend can light their own candles at home, Sutherland said.

The Compassionate Friends Worldwide Candle Lighting will take place in Winchester on Sunday at 7 p.m. at the Rolan G. Taylor Funeral Home gazebo. In case of inclement weather, the ceremony will be moved inside, Sutherland said.

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