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Christmas: A chance to mend relationships

December 23, 2008|Rhonda Dragomir

Everywhere we look we see the familiar Christmas catch phrases. "Peace on Earth," "Goodwill to Men," "Joy to the World." What high hopes people have for celebrating a season filled with happiness and a sense of well being.

Most families have plans to gather together for food, fellowship, and gift-giving. A few will tolerate the antics of the relative everyone hoped to avoid while others will look around the table and count the blessings of warm relationships.

Yet for many people this will not be the case. Some families are torn asunder by wounds and old conflicts. Some people will spend the holiday alone, pondering the circumstances that contributed to that sad predicament.

I recently heard the story of a woman who was estranged from her daughter for many years. Hoping that Christmas will soften her child's heart, she plans a call on Christmas Day. Touched by both her pain and her courage, I was challenged myself to reach out to former friends and attempt to bridge the gap.

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I'm no stranger to broken relationships. But then, I suppose very few people are. One Christmas I sent a card to a woman whom I knew was angry with me because of a misunderstanding. Several attempts to reach her had been unsuccessful, but I hoped that the warm feelings of Christmas would melt her heart.

My carefully chosen words said, "I'm grateful for our many years of friendship." Twenty-three years of friendship had ended with barely an opportunity for me to speak to her in my own defense. The rumor she believed, though untrue, was never refuted.

To my chagrin, she returned the card to me a few weeks later, with a nasty letter and the comment, "Why would I be thankful for a friend who betrayed me?" Cut to the quick, I must admit her name hasn't been on my Christmas list since.

My column today is written for two groups of people. The first is that group which might be missing the warmth of a relationship gone bad. Christmas is the perfect time to attempt reconciliation. The risk of rejection is worth the possible benefit of a restored relationship.

The second group consists of people who might be on the receiving end of a phone call, card, or letter from someone seeking to mend fences. I ask you, in this season of peace and joy, why not give one of the best gifts of all ... forgiveness.

On this Christmas Day, I wish you peace on earth.

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