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Adapt, adjust and keep 'em laughing

October 06, 2009|By Jean Brody

After writing and submitting my column on growing old gracefully, we met with our dear friends Maxine and Eddie, who are both in their 80s. If ever I saw anyone age gracefully, it is these two, so while we ate at Golden Corral, I brought up the subject and asked for their take on it. Boy, did they add valuable and wise insight, so much so that here I am writing a sequel to my column. They listened to my ideas and picked up where I left off.

Eddie, in his "Eddie-ism way," said, "Its all about 'adapt and adjust.'"

Adapt. Adjust. Such simple concepts. Every day, life changes. What came easily for us before, suddenly, not so much. Actually, "suddenly" is the wrong word because it is over time that our bodies, our mental states and our stamina diminishes. I guess it's the realization of it that can be sudden. And, as Eddie says, "Once we realize these changes, that is where the 'gracefully' comes in as we adapt and adjust."

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I listened to this man, my friend, and thought how right he is, but how hard it is to not be bitter or angry or even impatient with ourselves. I admit right here and now to being guilty and that is why I push my limits and that is why I constantly hit the wall and create pain. Neither Eddie nor Maxine does this.

And then Maxine jumps into the conversation with something so vital in one's ability to age gracefully that I couldn't believe I had omitted it altogether in my first column. You know what it is? It is laughter. It is the ability to have a good and healthy and ready sense of humor, especially about oneself. Maxine is a master at this. It is one of the main reasons Gene and I value our lunch date every Monday with these two friends. We always end up laughing.

To tell the truth, when Maxine and I get together, our completely silly, goofy, non-sensical parts of our brains just spring to life and make us do things and say things that are not even explainable. We simply get carried away with our own craziness and have been known to make certain gestures, make certain noises that attract the attention of the folks trying to eat a quiet and sane meal.

By that time, we don't even care.

But you know what? When we say good-bye until the next Monday, or impromptu phone call, we are totally spent from laughing and having an uncomplicated and uninhibited two hours together and it sets the tone for the rest of the week.

It has been my experience that many of us aging folks see nothing funny about our restrcted lifestyle and we fall into a generally negative state. This is not graceful. So, I submit these further thoughts on how to grow old gracefully.

I'll bet you have some ideas on how to do this. If so, let me hear from you.

Even if you are not aging, I'm sure you have someone in your life who is and we all need to help one another on this life journey.

The view from the hill is wondrous.

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